Men dating over 50

I entered college in the fall of 1975 and graduated spring of 1980.During that time, although I no longer felt pressured to solely care about appearance and dating, meeting a man to marry was still just as expected as finishing college and finding a career.People in their 50’s have been through so much more loss, death, birth, career changes, and so on, that I have noticed the over-50 set is positioned perfectly to enjoy every moment that comes their way, when possible.Many people over 50 finally are more present in their lives, perhaps because they really understand how none of us know how long we will be on this beautiful spinning world.We all age, and as we age our bodies and desires change.So when a man 20 years older approaches me with a sense of entitlement and expectation that I do the opposite of what I set out to do, simply to please his appearance expectations, I find that irritating and invalidating to older women. Please be prepared to learn that most women over 50 are fairly secure in themselves and are able to appreciate beauty in its many many different human forms.I don’t mean to imply that you should date for the sake of healing misogyny, but rather dating for no other immediate reason than to simply enjoy someone’s company is, in and of itself, an act of liberation.

This attitude that women should be younger than the man they are with, alongside being ableist, ageist, and fatphobic, is rooted in the underlying assumption still lingering for men my age that part of the reason why women are here on earth is for a man’s pleasure — so she needs to fit into his standards of desirability.I have lost count of how many times I heard the question, “Any competition?” or “Are there any other girls at school after him?People, like myself, born in the 1950’s and early 1960’s were raised with some heavy patriarchal programming, and yet by the late 60’s and 70’s, the women’s liberation and gay rights movements began to dismantle that programming.And as a woman who predominately dates straight, cisgender men, so far, I notice that these old ideas pop up more commonly, or at least more overtly, for people in my age group than they do for women 30 years younger than me.

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